The Surrogate Survival Guide
Here’s everything you need to know about being a surrogate with Love & Kindness Surrogacy.
The Pros and Cons of Becoming a Surrogate
Becoming a surrogate can be an incredible experience, but it’s also a complex and deeply personal choice. Talk to your family and friends about your desire to become a surrogate, and make sure you have a good support system before proceeding.
Pros
- It’s an extremely fulfilling experience.
One of our previous surrogates said it it best: “I cannot think of anything greater that a person can do for another person than being a surrogate.”
Helping someone else become a parent is one of the greatest gifts a person can give. Knowing that you’ve helped another family became a family will bring a great sense of accomplishment and a lot of happiness to you for the rest of your life.
Most surrogates and intended parents stayed in touch for many years after the baby is born. You’ll be best friends but also feel like family with them; it is a very deep and unique connection that most surrogates enjoy and cherish.
- It is also rewarding, not just spiritually, but also financially.
Surrogates are very well compensated. Many surrogates use that money to help put down a down payment on a house, to pay off all their student loans, or to kickstart a college fund for their own children.
- Surrogates are well supported and legally protected.
At Love & Kindness, we make sure you feel supported for your entire journey. We’ll guide you and your intended parents through every single step of the surrogacy process. And whenever someone has a question or concern, we’re always a text, a call, or an email away.We’ll also help you make the best use of your psychological and wellness budgets, which can be put toward mental health professionals, nutritionists, doulas, personal trainers, pre-natal massages, and more.
Legally, all your rights are well-protected. You will have your own attorney to help inform and protect you. An escrow account will also be used to ensure that the funds needed to pay for everything are in place.
Cons
- We won’t sugar coat it. Being a surrogate can be very demanding.
You’ll be asked to complete many steps in this process, including a psychological evaluation and a one-day trip to the intended parents’ clinic location. You’ll also be asked to take injectable medications to prepare your body to be able to accept the intended parents’ embryo, to attend multiple medical appointments (near your home), and then fly to the clinic again for the embryo transfer.After you’re confirmed pregnant, you’ll also need to attend routine appointments for OB care. You will have to put your body through all the changes and discomfort that come with being pregnant. It truly is a huge commitment and sacrifice you’re doing for the intended parents.
- This process may sometimes feel extremely frustrating.
Medicine is not an exact science, and everyone’s body is different – so things can sometimes not go the same way that everyone hoped. Every embryo transfer has a 60% to 70% chance to succeed, and it may feel like an emotional roller coaster for you to get your hopes up after preparing and going through an embryo transfer, only to find out later that the embryo didn’t stick, or that you had a early miscarriage (which is normal; miscarriage happens in 10% to 15% of pregnancies naturally). - There are medical risks.
There are risks involved with any pregnancy. Complications may happen. Being pregnant as a surrogate is not any riskier than being pregnant naturally on your own. But in a worst case scenario, the surrogate could suffer reproductive organ loss, or even die during childbirth. (Although we don’t expect anything bad to ever happen, at Love & Kindness, we do have life insurance policy and organ loss compensation in place for all surrogates, just in case such situation did ever occur).We also require all surrogates to attend routine OB appointments, and to deliver at a birthing hospital (no home birth or birthing center allowed) to maximize protection to both the surrogate and the surro baby.
Common Questions
What kind of compensation will I receive?
Reputable agencies make sure that surrogates are paid fairly for the hard work they’re doing. Our compensation ranges anywhere from $46,500 to $86,000. For more information on our pay and industry-leading benefits, visit our compensation page.
What medications will I be taking?
We’ve written up a blog post on common medications surrogates take before and after embryo transfer. We also have sample medication calendars available for viewing.
What are surrogacy laws like in my state?
Surrogacy laws can vary by state. We’ll handle the nitty-gritty during your journey, and you’ll also have a team of legal and medical professionals to aid you. But in case you’re interested, check out our state law map.
What is the timeline for surrogacy like?
Timelines for surrogacy can vary a lot depending on things like the number of transfers you undergo and how quickly your medical history clears. See two example timelines below.
What are surrogates saying about Love & Kindness?
We asked some of our current and previous surrogates about their journeys with Love & Kindness. Here’s what they had to say.
Other Resources You May Find Helpful
How do I talk to my doctor about surrogacy?
Talking to doctors can be tricky even in a normal checkup – so it’s important for you to know what to ask during a surrogacy-related doctor appointment.
What should I ask when meeting my intended parents?
Nervous about first impressions? Here’s some tips for meeting any prospective intended parents.
